Expectations from a Woman

Women’s Day is supposed to be a day where we celebrate all the accomplishments made by women over the years. Without some very important women, we wouldn’t have had the basic necessities like proper education or never have found a way to get our voices heard. Women would have been relegated to the background of every household and expected to make all sorts of sacrifices for the other members of the family.

That’s what is expected of every woman- to continuously make sacrifices for the betterment of their family and society. It doesn’t matter what she wants, all that matters is what she can do for others.

Yes, this sort of expectation is still prevalent today. Except, women now have to prove themselves in several other fields as well.

Before, all women were supposed to do was marry, cook, give birth to children and then take care of them. Most of them never had the advantage of education or a career choice. They rarely got a say in the household even though they were taking care of ‘said’ household. What they were fortunate for was the lack of pressure on them to continue to better themselves.

Today, things are different for women. A LOT is expected out of them. They are supposed to be pretty, well educated, knowledgeable on a variety of subjects, know how to cook, have a successful career, be good wives, give birth to healthy children….

The list is endless.

Women no longer have a choice on whether or not to be strong- they are and they have to be. In the process of being strong, they have to make sacrifices- not compromises. They are expected to give away more and expect nothing in return.

On top of everything, they must remain attractive to men.

That is perhaps the most outrageous strain to women- to be able to not only attract men but hold onto them. Not that women don’t cheat, but if a man cheats, a woman is stigmatized as a terrible wife who did nothing to keep her looks so the poor husband had to find someone else to excite him. If a woman cheats, then she’s characterized as a bitch or something much worse. The man in this case is a poor chap who deserves someone much better. In any case, it is the woman who is always ridiculed.

Then there’s the disgraceful way women are portrayed in some movies. They are given skimpy clothes to wear, made to dance on vulgar songs and are in turn given really tiny parts to showcase their acting skills. It’s as if some filmmakers are trying to show women their position and that is way, way lower than them men’s.

Of course there are some movies who portray women as strong women, like the recent ‘Mardaani’ where Rani Mukherjee plays a fearless cop trying to find and release girls from being trafficked.

Yes, initially I did wonder why a strong woman character oriented needs a movie title like ‘Mardaani’, but I guess it was more of a creative decision. I suppose ‘Aurat-daani’ would have sounded weird. The point was, that the movie focused on the strength of a woman and how she didn’t flinch even when she was being pushed to the limits by the enemy.

Moving on TV shows, there’s not much to learn about feminism from saas-bahu shows. Women are still fighting in the kitchen, most of them are not educated or have careers or aspirations and all their time is spent shopping for clothes and playing bitchy games with the other women characters.

Even when a track is introduced where a woman wants to fight for her rights or educate herself or has a career for herself, that plot line is quickly wrapped up in the most absurd way- usually with the character becoming pregnant. From then on, she has to prove she’s a good mother and quickly fall back into her lean figure for her husband.

The only family show I have watched with strong women who are good mothers too is ‘Modern Family’. Gloria Pritchett isn’t afraid to have her voice heard. She’s young and pretty and best of all, she’s a terrific mother. She may not have a career, but she’s a good role model because she handles her family well without giving up on all the things she wants for herself.

She doesn’t cry in a corner or resort to playing silly games against her family. She’s sweet and understanding and cares a lot about family traditions apart from being a supportive wife to a husband who is way older than her.

There is a lot to think about women and their rights. It doesn’t help that most what we watch from TV shows and movies don’t entirely show women in a good light. They are portrayed as weak and someone whose sole purpose in life is to make perpetual sacrifices.

Women’s Day should be used to shed light on the fact that women are equal to men and like them they too have aspirations and deserve to be happy. They aren’t someone that a lot of expectations are to be made from. Rather, women deserve to have expectations of respect, hope, happiness and equality from everyone and have these expectations fulfilled. 

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